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This Owl Brays Like a Donkey
Mar 1, 2006 12:00 PM
, KEN MAGILL
HERE IS A RULE OF THUMB that would spare a lot of us aggravation: Artists should never open their yaps other than as part of their art, and even then only to people who have paid to hear them. A recent case in point is the Web site AdFreeBlog.org. Its mission is as straightforward as it is stupid: to get as many bloggers as possible to swear off advertising. First, let's ignore the fact that for the vast majority of bloggers, swearing off ads would be akin to me swearing off dating Victoria's Secret models. AdFreeBlog.org features a logo with an owl and the words “Ad-Free Blog” that its creators hope like-minded people will display on their sites. AdFreeBlog also offers copy that bloggers can use to explain the logo: “By using this icon on my website I am stating…
signed, the author.” AdFreeBlog.org's logo looks suspiciously like the one New York City's PBS station used when it launched in the '60s. Coincidence or tribute? Who knows? If it's a tribute, though, here's a news flash for AdFreeBlog.org: PBS started when there were four channels and people feared there would be no place for highbrow educational content. In case you haven't noticed, there are, oh, a gazillion channels on the Internet…and as a result, no need to fence off an area for people who think they're smarter than the rest of us. What is it about blogging that makes so many of its proponents such self-righteous gasbags? The wind whooshing through these people's craniums is practically audible across the Internet. It apparently hasn't occurred to the folks at AdFreeBlog.org that the blogosphere is about as diluted as a medium can get, because practically everyone who has had a coherent thought on the toilet thinks it should be published. Here's an idea: If it can't draw advertising, maybe the idea is a piece of garbage that should stay in the author's head where it belongs. Hell, it's not even as good as all the crap that does draw advertising. Now that's crappy. The bottom of AdFreeBlog.org has links under its authors' names: Keri Smith and Jeff Pitcher, both preciously spelled in all lowercase letters. Clicking on Smith's name reveals that she is a freelance illustrator who has worked for Random House, Forbes, The Washington Post, The New York Times, Ford Motor Co., The Body Shop, The Boston Globe and Hallmark. Gee, keri with a lowercase “k”: How commercial of you. You must really struggle with the idea of taking money from soulless commercial operations while carrying such disdain for the way they market their products and services. A sample entry from keri's ad-free blog: “For my whole life I have had difficulty looking at photos of myself. It was as if that person could never be enough for me, I did not want to see any of my flaws (or the things I perceived as imperfect).” Yeah, keri, I don't like looking at photos of myself either. But mainly it's because I drink a lot of beer and, as a result, am fat. Meanwhile, clicking on jeff with a lowercase “j's” name reveals the Web site AboveThe-OrangeTrees.com, the site for the same-named band for which he is the front man. A recent entry on jeff's blog — all lowercase, of course — says, “yesterday, while running the detention room at a certain middle school i will not name, i was repremanded [sic] on numerous occassions, [sic] one of which was the result of my painting. of course the woman who relieves me for lunch sits and does crosswords and reads people magazine. the fact that the administration perceives my activity as unacceptable and hers as acceptable is frightening to me.” Actually, jeff, what's frightening is your prose and your painting. Maybe the school has you running detention hoping you'll torture the children into better behavior with your art. Here's a suggestion, jeff: You and everyone who buys into your infantile philosophy have no idea how good you have it as a result of advertising. Maybe you should take up residence in Cuba. Instead of an owl, AdFreeBlog.org should use a braying jackass for its logo. That would at least more accurately reflect its creators' mentality. |
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