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As I've noted in this space before, with each significant life change comes an exciting opportunity to experience yet more aspects of direct marketing and customer service.

Since my husband and I had already gone through marriage and home ownership, it seemed logical that we take the next step. Yep, we've produced an offspring. Jacob Ross has shown little interest in direct mail or the Internet yet, but apparently is fascinated with infomercials…at least that's why we think he wakes up around 3:30 a.m. each day.

But baby cannot live by DRTV alone. In the months before he was born, we realized our little one would have big consumer needs. My husband and I did what many parents-to-be do in such a situation — we registered for baby gifts. Why? Because our mommies told us to. (It's amazing how being with child makes one feel so much like a child.)

Our first stop was Target. After finding no information about their registry in the baby department, I went to the customer service desk and was directed to a kiosk. “We don't have a registry yet, but do you have a packet of information we could take to look at?” I asked.

Again, the clerk — who could not have seemed less interested in helping me — said no, rolled his eyes and pointed to the kiosk. While the husband and I played around with that a bit, finding no useful information, another customer service rep ran into the back and returned with a packet. “He's an idiot,” she said, pointing to her colleague.

In addition to lots of cute baby pictures, coupons and oodles of advertising for baby gear, Target — like every other retailer we got information from — included a “helpful” list of things we'd absolutely, positively need to raise our child properly. If anyone ever bought everything on one of these lists, they wouldn't have room for the actual baby in their home unless they lived in a mansion.

We did register with Target — and then closed the registry a week later, deciding that we didn't want friends and family to have to deal with such a lack of assistance.

Next stop was Toys ‘R’ Us. There, I found a desk in the baby department with a customer service rep ready, willing and able to answer my questions. We registered and happily found we could expand the registry at the soon-to-open Babies ‘R’ Us next door.

There were several things I loved about Babies ‘R’ Us, the first of which I found even before I went in the door. Several prime spaces in the parking lot were allotted for “expectant mother/stork” parking — a very, very nice touch. Inside, there were plenty of places for moms-to-be to sit if they became too tired or dazed from walking around with a pricing gun, trying to decide which of the 841 car seat styles were safest for their tyke. And, bless them, the ladies' room was clean and easily accessible. (Only if you've ever been pregnant do you realize how important this is.)

We also registered at Baby Depot, part of Burlington Coat Factory. While the amenities weren't as plush as Babies ‘R’ Us, the selection was good and the service courteous.

The Right Start was also on our list to check out. The sales representative who gave us tremendous help on how to select a stroller and car seat couldn't have been better. (She even referred us to Baby Depot to check out more styles.) We asked for information about the registry, and were told there was one dedicated person who handled that, and we'd need an appointment. Nor was there any takeaway information. A missed opportunity for them on one front, but they scored tremendous goodwill on another. We'll certainly go back.

We choose the two retailers we did because their registries were online. To our knowledge, no one actually bought from either via the Web, but several people did go online to get our lists, with varying results. Some couldn't find our registries, while others found them and made duplicate purchases because the online registries apparently weren't updated frequently enough.

In the end, gifts were received, both Target and Babies ‘R’ Us have done follow-up relationship marketing (Baby Depot, where are you?), and baby was born healthy and happy. As for mom, I'm doing well and getting plenty of sleep. No sir, baby hasn't affected me at all. I'm tarp as a shack…er, shark as a pack…um, park as a crack? Wait, wait, it'll come to me…

BETH NEGUS VIVEIROS (bethdirect@aol.com) is executive editor of Direct.